Life and...

I've avoided writing this blog, mostly because I just don't know what to write. I'm finally committing to it because I have too many thoughts in my head and need to get some of them out of the way. As I type this, I'm sitting at my grandmother's hospital bedside. I've been here since Sunday night, aside from going to my parents' home each night to sleep. Although it's hectic here, and there really isn't a lot of sitting time, I feel like my brain has been in overdrive with so many thoughts that I've had difficulty keeping up with my own mind.

I should give some background... My mother's mother, Wanda, suffered a massive stroke three weeks ago and has lost the use of the left side of her body, developed pneumonia and is dealing with other complications as she attempts to recuperate. My mother, Ann, has served as the primary caretaker the past three weeks, and I owed it to her to relieve her as much as possible for this week. My schedule will hopefully allow me to return over Easter.

I arrived on Sunday, not really knowing what to expect, but assured that anything I could do would help my mother. However, after three days in this hospital room, I think I am the one who has benefitted most from this encounter. You see, I've not had a positive relationship with my grandmother since I was a child. It's not just me, I don't think anyone in my family has enjoyed their relationship with my grandmother. It's quite the novel itself, but the story of my mother's family is dramatic and not positive in any light. My grandfather is but a memory as he passed away when I was a toddler. I'm sure that his death contributed greatly to my grandmother's demeanor over the years, but that is not important at this juncture. The drama of the past, scars of relationships lost and feelings betrayed by hurtful words are no longer the story.

The story now is a woman who just three weeks ago was a very prideful and independent woman substitute teaching at a high school now lies helpless in a hospital bed. I've spent my week washing her face, covering her with blankets, uncovering her from blankets, cleaning her teeth, brushing her hair, calling nurses time after time to reposition her in the bed and so on. I've entertained with her favorite pasttime of listening to sermons and my own favorite of worshipping through praise music. As I type this, we are listening to a Third Day CD that she has enjoyed today. (Fortunately, she has good taste in music.) On the first day, I would repeatedly look up scripture when she called out a passage and asked me to read it, but after that day of her reciting the verses before I could locate them, I just started asking her what the verses said instead of looking them up. (I'm quite certain she could record the text for an audio Bible without having to read it from a printed Bible.) I introduced her to YouTube, and we've enjoyed watching Gaither Family performances online. She is working up to taking another swallow test later in the week so that hopefully she will be allowed to begin taking in fluids orally, so she is practicing her speech therapy exercises throughout the day. When I stepped out last night to cook dinner for my parents, I turned her TV to Fox News and told her to do her favorite exercise every time they said "healthcare" on TV. She did it and was still doing it when I returned after dinner. That was just one of the many times I have giggled this week. Although there is certainly no humor in the situation, she has still cracked me up on a daily basis.

Although she is very demanding and needy, I still admit that I am the one who has benefited from this time. Servanthood is an unexplainable feeling, and though I usually have no problem putting words to my feelings, this is the rare occasion when I have absolutely no words. What words are there to explain the feelings of seeing someone so helpless? Sorrow. I definitely am sorry that she is in this condition. No matter what kind of person she is or was, no one deserves this condition. Remorse. I definitely feel remorse, even if it is just on her behalf. I have heard her thoughts this week and definitely see that she has regrets and would maybe have treated people differently if she had life to do over again. Sympathy. If you have no sympathy for elderly and aging and disabled people, I think you must have a heart of stone. Exhaustion. The thoughts of what the next step is and how the rest of her life will play out absolutely exhaust me. I'm not one of her children who will be making those decisions, but the complexity, emotion and labor that is and will be involved exhausts me just thinking about it. Sadness. There's really nothing to elaborate on this emotion. Aging, sickness and death are sad to watch. We did spend some time talking about the beauty of heaven today and how many people she is looking forward to seeing, but it is still a sad process though we know the culmination is anything but sad. However, I wouldn't have missed this opportunity. I don't know why, but now that I am in the midst of it, it seems vital. It's an emotion I feel strongly attached to and I think it is a part of life that makes us feel deeper and love stronger. I find it intriguing that the cycle of life truly is a complete cycle and it is fascinating to see in action. I've found a deeper meaning in Ecclesiates 3:1-8 this week.

For everything there is a season,
A time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

Family & Wedding Festivities

My cousin, Leah, is getting married in May in Atlanta. Fortunately, she lives in Dallas, and most of our family lives in various parts of Texas, so we were able to gather on Saturday for a bridal brunch in Leah's honor. The bride's mom, my aunt Kelly came all the way from Atlanta, and everyone else came from Odessa, Austin, Fort Worth, Cisco and Putnam.


The Dragonly restaurant at Hotel Zaza in Dallas was the scene, and it was a fun time with everyone.


Okay, I know we were there to celebrate Leah, but the food was reason to celebrate as well. Ha! This bananas french toast was UH. MAZE. ING. Man, oh man.


And, this cake was aptly named "Oh, God! Chocolate Cake." Oh, it was the tastiest!


Landry, my cousin Hannah's daughter, was a big fan of the chocolate cake. Can you blame her?!


The gifts were extra special, as everyone gave Leah a recipe and a kitchen item that could be used to make that recipe. There was a family pie recipe some yummy recipes I wanted to steal and my sister's recipe for how to make toast that accompanied a toaster oven. It was a joke, but so is my sister's cooking so it was fitting.


I gave these strawberry and blackberry preserves as treats for the guests. If they had been handpicked and cooked by myself, it would have been a special treat, but I just made the labels.


But, the real treat was this special chance for my grandmother, aunts and cousins to come together and honor Leah. Congratulations, Leah!

Tuesday Treats - Seafood

With all the cooking I've been doing in the past month, I've had plenty of chances to dig up old recipes I haven't used in a long time as well as new recipes, which have mostly consisted of seafood. In an attempt to avoid the terribly unhealthy red meat I usually cook, I've ventured out into fish. Until this, I had never cooked seafood, which is ridiculous, considering we spent the first eight years of our marriage living on the coast. Now, we're incredibly landlocked and I've decided to try coastal cooking. Ha!


This potato-encrusted tilapia was fine, but I won't bother with sharing the recipe. I wouldn't recommend it. However, the asparagus dijon was tasty.

Asparagus Dijon
1 1/2 pounds asparagus spears
1/4 cup whipping cream
2 T mayonnaise or salad dressing
2 T sliced green onions
3 t dijon-styled mustard

Snap off and discard woody bases of fresh asparagus. Cook, covered in boiling water for 4-6 minutes or till crisp-tender, drain. Beat shipping cream til stiff peaks form, fold in mayonnaise, green onion, mustard. Spoon sauce atop asparagus.


This shrimp and linguini was super tasty and even made for a great leftovers dish. I will definitely be cooking this again.

Shrimp & Linguini
3/4 pound medium shrimp
3/4 cup coarsely chopped carrots
2 large tomatoes, seeded and diced
1/4 cup sliced green onions
1/3 cup grated fresh Parmesan cheese
8 ounces linguini (I used whole wheat, which is much tastier) cooked according to package
1 t olive oil
2 pressed garlic cloves
3/4 cup reduced-fat sour cream
1/2 cup fat-free evaporated milk
1/4 cup snipped fresh basil leaves
1/2 t salt
1/4 t black pepper

Heat oil in saute pan. Add shrimp, carrots and garlic. Cook and stir over medium heat 3-4 minutes or until shrimp turns pink. Remove from skillet. Heat sour cream and milk in skillet over low heat while whisking. Stir in parmesan cheese. Add shrimp mixture, tomatoes, green onions, basil, salt and pepper. Mix gently. Pour shrimp and vegetable mixture over pasta.


I love this salmon so much that I've already cooked it twice since discovering it. The rice is another of my favorites, but it's just a box of 4-grain wild rice from Uncle Ben's. Yum! And, the broccoli is a glazed carrots recipe with broccoli instead of carrots. Another yum!

Toasted Sesame Salmon
4 t sesame seends
3 T teriyaki glaze (I used cheriyake glaze)
1 T tahini paste
1 T toasted sesame oil
1 pressed garlic clove
4 salmon filets

1. Preheat oven to 450. Cook sesame seeds in saute pan 2-3 minutes or until golden brown. Combine glaze, tahini, oil and garlic in bowl and whisk well. Brush glaze mixture onto fillets and sprinkle seeds over each fillet. Bake 12-14 minutes or until fish flakes easily.

Saturday Bliss

Saturday morning has to be the perfect time in the Hardy family. We absolutely love Saturday morning family breakfasts. This morning, Daniel came home from a night of work to cook eggs and hash browns with help from his special assistants.

Abigail is the perfect egg cracker.


And, she taught Cooper how to scramble the eggs.


Daddy had to get some sleep for the day, but the kids and I have enjoyed a lovely day of fun and play. After a good workout at the gym, we picked up some groceries and the kids were introduced to moonpies that the scarfed down after lunch. Although, I keep having to correct Abigail who is calling them "man pies". he he he


(Please excuse the "non-manly" plate. I am trying to use up Valentine's Day party leftovers. And, don't tell Daniel I told you this, but Cooper loves the color pink. Ha!)

We even got some playtime outside today. You'd never know it was snowing just four days ago because it's sunny and 65 degrees out today. It's just beautiful!




Now, we're off to wrap up the night with some shrimp linguini and a movie. Yea for Saturdays!

Snow Day

Aside from a 10-minute show of flurries earlier this year, Abigail and Cooper have never seen snow. In their opinion, they've been so deprived. In fact, Abigail was in tears a few weeks ago upon learning that her cousin Avery was playing in another heavy snowfall just a few hours north of us in Dallas. Claims of "Avery always gets snow," and "We never get snow," and "It's not fair at all," were all she could muster up between sobs. Well, she got her wish today when we had 2-3" of snow fall in huge flakes. I was only able to snap a few photos of the fun because I detest snow and anything that has to do with cold weather. I preferred to stay inside. But, this is what I captured in my short visit to the tundra...

Abigail just wanted to eat the snow.




Cooper didn't know what to do with it.




Daddy knew just what to do with it: throw it at the neighborhood boys.




Then, he had a better idea that didn't involve tormenting the neighborhood boys: snow ice cream! Yum!

Movie Night

Daniel and I spent the weekend consumed with a minor home improvement project. We were painting, repairing furniture, installing newly built furniture, and so on. Oh, who am I kidding?! Daniel was painting, repairing furniture and installing newly built furniture. I was busy telling him how and where to do those things. I'll excuse my bossiness because it was my office that he was working in. But, really, I'm just a bossy person.

Anyways, the kids were left without the usual fun family time we have on the weekends, so we improvised and made Monday night a family movie night. Yes, we made a mess of popcorn in the living room floor and the kids were in bed late on a school night. Oh, well! We had a great time.





Nevermind Daniel's expression. He was really into "Night at the Museum." Ha! I think it was the sitting on the floor that he wasn't into. He didn't last long before heading to the couch to enjoy the rest of the flick. But, we were all there, snuggled up together by the end of the movie.

Lent

You may remember our observance of Lent last year when we gave up TV. I thought it would be painful, but ended up as one of the most productive self-improvement paths we've ever taken. We ended up paying out the remainder of our DirecTV contract to be able to cancel that service and did not even miss TV after the Lenten season was over. We found ourselves reading, talking, going to bed earlier, and many other good habits that we had neglected since having kids and being relegated to the house each night. We did end up hooking up a digital antenna box to be able to see Longhorn football games once fall rolled around, but there are still many days that the TV does not come one, and we are a much better family for it.

This year, the Lenten season snuck up on us and we found ourselves with just a few days of discussing and praying left before having to make a decision today, on Ash Wednesday. We've giving up restaurants as our penance. I think this will be much more tough than TV, at least for me. I rely on restaurants when we're running ragged and need to eat but haven't taken the time to cook dinner, or as a reward for something good the kids did (Chick-fil-a), or as a reward to myself when I'm stressed and bedraggled (Starbucks). This affects our bodies and personal well-being as we never eat as well at restaurants as we do at home. It affects our budget, as we allot entirely too much money to our eating-out line item. It affects our time management because it ends up taking longer to eat out on a week night as opposed to throwing something on the table and eating while still leaving time for baths and bedtimes instead of waiting for a table/waiting to be served/waiting for a check/driving home late/rushing to get the kids in bed. Really, there is nothing good that comes from our terrible reliance on restaurants, it is just another form of our gluttony and selfishness. Thus, it has to go.

This probably sounds trite and needless to many, but it is a severe weakness we have in our lives. I pray God uses this time to work healthier habits in our lives, as He did last year.