You DO Bring Me Flowers Anymore

My hubby brought flowers to my office this morning. He reminded me that we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in almost one month. Yeah, he's pretty great.

The Toolman

I want to brag on my husband for a bit today, so please indulge me as I gush. Not only is he my best friend and an amazing father and great provider for our family, but he's so handy. Not everyone can say that, but I'm fortunate to have lucked out with a handy man in the house.

We've had quite a few home projects lately. Or, should I say, I've come up with a bunch of ideas lately, and he's followed through to complete them. The painting jobs that are always my ideas end up being his job as I lose interest about an hour into the painting. If I were the one following through on my own ideas, we'd have a master bedroom with one wall of primer and a daughter's room with the bottom half of her walls painted white and the rest untouched. Instead, Daniel quietly completes my projects without a complaint, and we have a great master bedroom painted chocolate brown and Abigail's room is gorgeous with the faint pastel pink and white walls. Aside from the painting, he's recently installed a gorgeous chair rail throughout Abigail's room and framed a large mirror with moulding to hang on her wall. 

Last week he spent a few hours recharging the air conditioner in my car after a long 12-hour night shift. Not a lot of husbands are that handy or even that willing, so I'm counting my blessings! 

I love that Daniel has wonderful handyman skills, but even more that that, he has the best attitude throughout all my ideas and projects. I'm sure all the while he's dreaming about being out on a river in his kayak, but he's at home and happy to help. Thanks Baby!!

Ahhh... Marriage

The pastor at the church we have been attending has been delivering a sermon series on the family, that has been an outstanding learning tool. A few weeks ago, he spoke on the man's role in the family and this past Sunday addressed the woman's role. Each sermon was begun by giving general information about each gender that I found humorous and wanted to share. While the pastor gave the list of common things about men (about 90% of all men, according to him), his wife shared a similar list of vocabulary women use. 

Men

1. There is still a lot of little boy in us.

2. We did hear you the first time. (I know we may not have responded. We may not have even acknowledged, but we did hear you the first time. Why didn't we respond? I don't know.)

3. We are very physical in nature. (We're created rough and tumble and physical. That means we view things physically. We stare at our wife even when you don't know we're looking. So, we need women to protect us and embrace modesty.)

4. We have a brain compartment for everything. (Your brains are all mixed together and we may not make the shift from compartment to compartment as you do.)

5. We are very prideful, thus we are very insecure.

6. We need training, so don't assume we know everything. 

7. We are not comfortable in ladies' clothing stores or lingerie areas. (We don't know what to do there. When you ask us the question, "How do I look?" the answer is always, "great" because we don't know what to do with that.)

8. The world is our urinal. (Can we be trained to be different? Yes, just like we can 

9. We can do nothing, and be perfectly content. (What are you thinking? Nothing. What are you doing? Nothing. And, that's the truth.)

I'm not defending men, I'm just telling you how men are, he said.  

Women

1. Fine - The word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. 5 minutes - If she's getting dressed, this means half an hour. "5 minutes" is only five minutes if you've been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing - This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

4. Go ahead - This is a dare and not permission. Don't do it.

5. The loud sigh - This is actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and is wondering shy she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing. Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.

6. That's okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. It means she wants to think long and hard about how and when you will pay for your mistakes 

7. Thanks. A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say "you're welcome." This is true, unless she says "thanks a lot." That is pure sarcasm, and she is not thanking you at all. Do not say you're welcome. That will bring on a "whatever."

8. Whatever - A woman's way of saying "don't worry about". Another dangerous statement meaning this is something a woman has told a man to do several times and she is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong?" For the woman's response, refer to #3, "nothing." 

Seven Years...

Today marks the day of our wedding seven years ago. Time flies when you're having fun but, there have been times that weren't so much fun, going back even more than seven years ago.

Eight years ago Daniel was stationed in Charleston, SC, and I was living in Odessa, TX, working and going to school. We were in love and not enjoying the long-distance relationship situation, and discussing marriage quite often. As he was planning to come home for Christmas, I was secretly hoping he was bringing a ring with him. Knowing that he's not much on keeping secrets or planning surprises, I asked him daily what he was getting me for Christmas. And, he always replied that he had gotten me some red shoes. I was sure that was a joke to avoid the discussion...

Once he arrived, I was so excited to see him that I drove to Dallas (more than 5 hours away) to meet him at the airport even though his sister lived in Dallas and was planning to pick him up and deliver him to Odessa. The next day we made the trek to Odessa, with the "red shoes" comment coming back up several times. 

We spent Christmas Day with my family and headed out to New Mexico that night to join Daniel's family for skiing and visiting at his grandparents' mountain home. But first, we made a pit-stop at his parent's home to exchange gifts amongst ourselves. I was shocked to open the only box there was for me and see a pair of the ugliest red sandles I'd ever seen. Not wanting to look up, I just kept staring at the shoes trying to decide if this was a joke or if he actually thought it was a good gift. Did I need to put on my "you're not going to fool me"or "aww.... how sweet" look? I pulled one of the shoes out, only to see that there was more in the bottom of the box. Yes!... Oh, wait. It's a book... Wait for it.... IT WAS WEDDINGS FOR DUMMIES. I looked up, and Daniel was down on one knees with a ring box open in his hand. 

Looking back, I think he deserved more ridicule than I dished out for his humorous "romantic" notions. Really, do I look like a dummy? I think any bridal magazine would have served the same purpose. But, his plan had been well-orchestrated. He later revealed that he had purchased the ring several months before the proposal and spent months praying and contemplating the decision. (I think it's worked out well so far.)

So, engaged, in love and on cloud 9, we jumped in the car and headed towards New Mexico. (Although we weren't married yet, we were already suffering through the "who's family do we spend this holiday with" and "did we split up our time evenly" issues.) The five-hour drive to Ruidoso started off well but hit a snag about 45 minutes into the trip. The weather worsened severely, and our speed crawled to a snail's pace as cars were going off the road left and right due to icy conditions. Not far over the Texas border, the DPS put us out of our misery (or so I thought) and closed the road. We ended up in a small town (or what I'd rather call an intersection of two country roads with a few businesses that cater to oilfield workers), Tatum, and snagged the last vacant room in the only motel (not a hotel or even an inn). 

Thinking we had lucked out, we got into our room and learned that we might have been better off sticking it out in the car or turning around and heading back to the last town. The only thing to eat was a fried bean burrito from the Town & Country. The door to the room didn't meet the ground, and snow was blowing into the room from outside. The room was supposed to be heated via a small gas furnace that I was sure was not safe for anyone. And, to top if off, it was Christmas Day, for pete's sake. This was the first day of the rest of our life together, and Christmas, and we were in this roach motel with snow blowing in under the door! I was sure this was a bad omen, or at least a sign from God, and not a good one. 

We decided to just try and get some sleep and hope the roads would be open in the morning. When the lights turned off, my horror grew as I learned that the so-called cute flannel pajamas I had purchased for the mountain trip were actually glow-in-the-dark. I was aglow with sheep jumping from head to toe! The sheep were the final straw, and I could no longer hold it in. I ended up crying myself to sleep that Christmas night.

The next morning, the car was completely frozen shut. Even the doors would not open due to the thick layer of ice. If there had been an ice scraper stowed in my car, we couldn't have gotten to it. But, I wasn't that prepared anyways. (Needless to say, since that trip I've had an ice scraper in every car I've owned.) We used a razor blade cartridge to gradually chip and scrape the ice from the car. We weren't in much of a hurry because the roads weren't open yet. By the time we were able to pry the doors open and see through the windshield, we headed to the roadblock and joined the others already waiting. Showing our maturity, we threw snowballs at the roadblock sign to pass the time.

Eventually, the road opened and we were able to slowly make our way through the rest of the trip. Seven hours later, we happily arrived and ended the worst roadtrip we had ever taken (up until then, but that's another story). 

December 27, 2000 

Fortunately, I didn't let the glowing sheep, hazardous furnace, snow or ice talk me out of the engagement. Almost a year later, we sealed the deal, and have been happily married since. 

Although I do still own them, I've never slept in the sheep pajamas again. And, I've never worn them, but I also still have the ugly red shoes, but I still have the ring and wear it gladly.

November 10, 2001