Ahhh... Marriage

The pastor at the church we have been attending has been delivering a sermon series on the family, that has been an outstanding learning tool. A few weeks ago, he spoke on the man's role in the family and this past Sunday addressed the woman's role. Each sermon was begun by giving general information about each gender that I found humorous and wanted to share. While the pastor gave the list of common things about men (about 90% of all men, according to him), his wife shared a similar list of vocabulary women use. 

Men

1. There is still a lot of little boy in us.

2. We did hear you the first time. (I know we may not have responded. We may not have even acknowledged, but we did hear you the first time. Why didn't we respond? I don't know.)

3. We are very physical in nature. (We're created rough and tumble and physical. That means we view things physically. We stare at our wife even when you don't know we're looking. So, we need women to protect us and embrace modesty.)

4. We have a brain compartment for everything. (Your brains are all mixed together and we may not make the shift from compartment to compartment as you do.)

5. We are very prideful, thus we are very insecure.

6. We need training, so don't assume we know everything. 

7. We are not comfortable in ladies' clothing stores or lingerie areas. (We don't know what to do there. When you ask us the question, "How do I look?" the answer is always, "great" because we don't know what to do with that.)

8. The world is our urinal. (Can we be trained to be different? Yes, just like we can 

9. We can do nothing, and be perfectly content. (What are you thinking? Nothing. What are you doing? Nothing. And, that's the truth.)

I'm not defending men, I'm just telling you how men are, he said.  

Women

1. Fine - The word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. 5 minutes - If she's getting dressed, this means half an hour. "5 minutes" is only five minutes if you've been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing - This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

4. Go ahead - This is a dare and not permission. Don't do it.

5. The loud sigh - This is actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and is wondering shy she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing. Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.

6. That's okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. It means she wants to think long and hard about how and when you will pay for your mistakes 

7. Thanks. A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say "you're welcome." This is true, unless she says "thanks a lot." That is pure sarcasm, and she is not thanking you at all. Do not say you're welcome. That will bring on a "whatever."

8. Whatever - A woman's way of saying "don't worry about". Another dangerous statement meaning this is something a woman has told a man to do several times and she is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong?" For the woman's response, refer to #3, "nothing."